Our Most Shameful Practices: Female Feticide, Dowry, and Corruption

Disclaimer: The opinions shared in this modest attempt to awaken society to injustices perpetrated onto the female race are strictly those of the author. Any and all faults of understanding the topic at hand are the shortcomings of the author. A healthy debate is always encouraged and all criticism (both constructive and destructive) is welcomed.

I was raised in an orthodox Hindu family in North America and was rightly taught to respect and honour the religious, cultural, and philosophical background from which I claim my origin. My worship worthy parents and three elder sisters (who are cheekily known as my three other mothers), have raised me in an environment in which women are to be respected, cherished, and treated as what they are – the reason for our existence and the carriers of all of the Earth’s heaviest burdens. This is a concept that is very much ingrained in my conception of the Indian mentality. After all, we worship God in the Female form as: Devi Saraswati, Durga, Parvati, Kaali, Lakshmi, and many more. Then how on God’s green Earth can such atrocious crimes against humanity like Female Feticide and Dowry [FFD – my personal acronym for the subject] even happen in India and in the global Diaspora? I struggle to reconcile my family and religious practices with the ground realities of FFD. The remainder of this essay will try to explore some of the dynamics of FFD and how we can stop it.

Some quick notes before I begin: Abuse perpetrated on women of all ages is intolerable, but I am not covering it in this essay as I wish to focus solely on FFD. Abortion will be discussed in this essay. However, I would like state on record that I’m ‘pro choice’ for women.

What is the FFD nexus?

Preamble:

• Female Feticide: It is defined as aborting a female fetus after a sex determination test or pre-natal diagnostic test (as defined by Sharika Sasi). In short, it is sex-selective abortion.
• Dowry:  the money, goods, or estate that a woman brings to her husband in marriage (Merriam-Webster).

I’m pretty sure that at least some readers may know of or have heard about nightmarish dowry or sex-selective abortion stories. So what is the FFD nexus? It is my belief that in many cases, Female Feticide is a direct consequence of the backward notion that girls are considered financial burdens and boys are destined to be breadwinners. This idiotic notion is due heavily to the back breaking practice of marriage Dowry in which the bride’s family fulfils the financial demands of the groom’s family by paying out gold, cash, cars, and other valuables. In essence, a groom is a prostitute with a price tag on his head which is set by his own personal ego and the demands of his parents. You would think that a bride who comes to the home of the groom with all of that bounty would be treated with dignity and respect. However, the reality for some unfortunate brides is that they are continually harassed and accused for providing insufficient funds. You would think that a woman would understand the pain and suffering of another woman. However, it is easily observable in many cases that some women (sister-in-laws and mother-in-laws) exacerbate the problems of dowry exploitation. Oh, and it doesn’t stop there. These same vultures working in tandem with husbands and father-in-laws pressure the bride to produce a male heir to carry on the family prestige and name. A woman who gives birth to a few daughters (which is actually the father’s ‘shortcoming’) is looked down upon as a useless person. To avoid the constant feeling of failure and dejection for not providing enough bounty (dowry) and not providing male heirs to the family, many women are left with no option but to opt for sex-determined abortion. This is a typical story of how a well-intentioned woman is coerced to commit the greatest crime against humanity.

I can further elaborate on which communities indulge in these twin evil practices of FFD and why. But my intention in this essay is simply to get people talking about these problems and taking away the taboo status that they carry. I’d be more than happy to provide peer-reviewed research papers written by leading academics and activists on the matters of FFD to those who are interested. Believe me; I’m not exaggerating the problems of FFD. I can cite numerous cases of dowry extortion and sex-selective abortion in both India and the Diaspora. Requests can be promptly furnished upon request. The proof is in the pudding: data from the 2011 Indian census show that there are now 914 girls aged 0-6 years old for every 1,000 boys of the same age. What is causing this alarming demographic problem? I hope that what I have written thus far has been able to explain (at least partially) this phenomenon.

Solutions:

I’m not one to advise Indian society but I would like to put forth some of my own views in solution form:

Respect women of all ages. Treat them like your equals and more. If you ever see or hear about some scummy character that is boasting about how much dowry he received or voicing his displeasure over the inadequacy the amount, then publicly humiliate him (non-violently). If you ever hear a mother-in-law, sister-in-law, father-in-law, or husband talking about how the mother-to-be is useless because she can’t produce a son, then severely scold these lowly individuals. They do not deserve the right to be accepted in civilized society. Do your utmost best to expose and humiliate those who corrupt our cultural heritage by the atrocious acts against humanity known as Female Feticide and Dowry. Try and join NGOs, Facebook groups/pages, write to your local newspapers, pressure your community leaders, and have open debates with those people who feel that FFD is socially, and morally/ethically acceptable. This might sound like a set of fluffy recommendations to you, but it is a collective step in the right direction.

Always remember that a woman can be your grandmother, grand aunt, mother, aunt, sister, cousin, daughter, niece, wife, girlfriend, friend, colleague and the main reason for your existence. But she is certainly not some disposable tool to be kicked around in sex-determined abortions, and dowry negotiations.

On a personal note: The next time you hear some barbaric person speak about how he/she wished to have a son instead of a daughter, then please slap this essay in their face and send them my deepest resentment.

Signing off,

Abhaya S. Dube