By P.Gandhi
Many relationships nowadays are interreligious and in our society that is okay as long as it was the free choice of both individuals. However, the thing that boggles my mind is that, there has not been a single intercultural wedding I have seen between a Muslim and a Hindu in which the Muslim person has taken the Hindu’s last name and converted to Hinduism. Sure there is no need for anyone to convert or for anyone to take anyone else’s last name but every time a wedding between a Muslim and Hindu happens there is a clear pattern. The Hindu is always the one to convert, change names or allow a Muslim ceremony only.
I have heard of long-term relationships in which two people have been deeply in love for years but when it comes down to the wedding planning, there is always some discomfort and awkwardness between the Hindu family and the Muslim family. The end result is always that the Hindu side has to succumb to the Muslim demands, whether it is for the ceremony procession, the keeping of a Hindu name or even when it comes to naming the children of the couple. Many Christian mixed Hindu weddings have both the Christian and Hindu ceremony but its rare (well I have yet to see one) to see a Hindu AND Muslim ceremony for a wedding involving a bride and groom from both religions. Furthermore, in many cases the person of Hindu faith is usually asked to change their name into a Muslim one and in the name of love they easily do so! What happens to that person’s direct Hindu identity with a name change. If the Muslim person in the relationship loves the person for who they are, then how does it make any sense whatsoever to ask them to change their name—and their identity as a Hindu?
The question is, how have Hindu’s become so weak that they are willing to give up even their name, which they received at birth as an everlasting gift from their parents? Is the religion to blame or is the upbringing to blame or other factors? Along with that, why must the Hindu parents always feel obliged to allow the Muslim ceremony when the Muslim parents blatantly say that the Hindu ceremony is not allowed at any cost? Is this not a clear disruption to harmony between the families already, even though the relationship has just begun? Why are Muslims so unaccommodating even when it comes to their own sons and daughters lives? Do they not care about their happiness and own choices? I thought everyone came to this country to make democracy and rights a part of who they are?
Many times, people say that usually if the groom in a relationship is the Muslim, then it’s natural for the bride to change her name and religion but that is not the case. There are many cases in which the groom changes his name and it’s a one way direction. Hindus convert to Islam through name change, wedding ceremonies, mosque attendance and even children’s names. Over and over again, a pattern is seen yet people choose not to discuss this matter. Instead, if someone decides to discuss it, others are quick to say that this person is racist, or unaccommodating, with backwards thoughts. Why not blame the Muslims that are taking part in forcing a relationship to be a certain way? In the name of love, both sides should be compromising. There should be two ceremonies representing both sides because otherwise its a total insult to the side not being represented. Furthermore, a Hindu parent should have just as much a say as the Muslim ones, but the Hindus always want to not create tension and resolve the matter without future family problems. Why? It is because they love their children more than anything—even more than their own integrity. They have been raised with Hindu philosophy, teaching them to be good hosts always and accept others wrongdoings, even if they go against what is seen as right by everyone. It is always the Hindu that has to suffer the consequence, not only from others but also from their own people because the Hindus that choose to address such matters are pinpointed at as being people full of hatred and judgment.
These are some things we all must question and not take part in so that we can make a difference as a whole—united. Hindus in general need to work together and act as a unity rather than disperse from each other and segregate each other. It is funny because many ethnicities feel victimized and segregated from the rest of society and other cultures. Instead Hindus deal with a victimization and segregation within their own religious community. If we want to keep Hinduism and its identity alive, we are going to have to work together to fight for our rights—even when it comes to marrying off our beloved children. Our values must not be forgotten, especially when the other side is unashamedly disregarding our existence as Hindus.
Rajandran Thaiman says
April 23, 2010 at 6:12 amHindu’s are very weak. In M’sia thousand on Hindu’s married to Muslim they always covert to Muslim and they speak Malay language and claim to be Malay. New generation branded Malay.
Hindu Minister in Parliament mouth are sealed with #*@%#. Event Bramin convert to Muslim practice the same.
Rajandran Thaiman says
April 23, 2010 at 6:14 amHindu’s are very weak. In M’sia thousand on Hindu’s married to Muslim they always covert to Muslim and they speak Malay language and claim to be Malay. New generation branded Malay.
Hindu Minister in Parliament mouth are sealed with #*@%#. Event Bramin convert to Muslim practice the same.
InterfaithShaadi says
April 26, 2010 at 12:20 amExcellent article. It is not that Hindus are “very weak,” but Dharmic (Hindu, Sikh, Jain) young adults and their parents make irrational decisions relating to interfaith marriages due to lack of knowledge. Luckily, a new web site is now available with wealth of information.
http://www.InterfaithShaadi.org
This new web site covers:
Survey: 38% of Dharmics marry to Christians, Jews and Muslims in America.
Survey: 45% of Muslims in America marry out side their faith.
Many articles and information to help young adults and their parents.
Bollywood stories.
Videos ….and many more.
Please pass this information to others and educate Hindu young adults to avoid mistakes in the future.
AM I A HINDU? International Best Seller says
August 12, 2010 at 4:16 pmWow! You took words out of my mouth…
“……However, the thing that boggles my mind is that, there has not been a single intercultural wedding I have seen between a Muslim and a Hindu in which the Muslim person has taken the Hindu’s last name and converted to Hinduism. Sure there is no need for anyone to convert or for anyone to take anyone else’s last name but every time a wedding between a Muslim and Hindu happens there is a clear pattern. The Hindu is always the one to convert, change names or allow a Muslim ceremony only…..”
Very well said. Every conversion is one sided.
What a paradox!
One is not even allowed to carry a copy of the Holy Bible in Saudi Arabia;
One is not allowed to convert a Jew into any other religion is Israel;
One is not allowed to convert a Muslim to any other religion in Malaysia, Pakistan, Jordan and even Turkey;
but in India, every one is allowed to convert any Hindu into any other religion forcefully or other wise.
Jomo Kenyatta, Kenya’s first elected Prime Minister (1963-1964) and President (1964-1978) said:
“When the missionaries arrived, the Africans had the land and the missionaries had the Bible. They taught us to pray with our eyes closed. When we opened them, they had the land and we had the Bible.”
Hope and pray that this will not happen to India.
S.C.Panda says
June 27, 2011 at 8:09 amSir/madam, Namaskar. In Hindu marriages, names of any thing from 3 to 7 generations on the father and mother’s side are invoked. This presupposes remaining in the same caste and hence religion. It is indeed so easy for a Hindu to convert to Christianity or Islam but so difficult to bring a convert to Hinduism. This problem need be tackled by Dharmacharyas, and other Hindu religious leaders to prevent this one sided transfer of Hindus to other faiths.
Besides, parents need introduce Ramayana and Mahabharata which includes Bhagawad Gita to their children at home ( since these are not made available in so called secular education) and this will not only strengthen their moral fibre but inculcate in them a pride in Hinduism
I am of the opinion that it is selfish on the part of marriageable children not to factor parental concern while deciding to marry out side the community. SC Panda, Bhubaneswar(India)
Voice of Dharma says
June 30, 2011 at 6:33 pmThe anti-Hindu nature of several such inter-religious marriages are being documented at: http://www.interfaithshaadi.org
karpakarajan.v.chettiar says
May 4, 2012 at 8:18 amis it not a decision between the boy and the girl; why should i be worried; as long as my liberty to follow my faith is not disturbed; i should be happy;